“Hey, you look fat!” The first time an Angolan told me so with the biggest smile on his face, I politely smiled back, but secretly swore I would never speak to that person again. I wouldn’t have been happy about a comment like that from a friend, but from a person I barely knew I just found it completely outrageous. As nobody around me seemed to have noticed the terrible offence, I turned to one of my friends and asked “do you also think I look fatter than before my holiday?” The smiling answer: “oh, yes, of course; the holiday back home has done you good, you look great”. Was she pulling my leg? Another one of the “confuse-the-white-girl” games? I quietly looked down at my thighs thinking that, well, maybe I should have had less ice cream back home…
When the scene repeated itself several times over the following days, I decided not to touch any ice cream ever again in my life, nor any kind of food for that matter. Ever!
At some point one of my friends must have noticed the confused look on my face an that my smile had become completely fake and forced. “Something wrong?” “Do you really think I’ve gained so much weight?” Seeing the concerned expression on my face, she burst into laughing: “it’s a compliment; it’s to acknowledge that you look good and healthy and that the holiday has done you good!”
I should be used to it by now, but still my Western beauty stereotypes shiver and scream when someone makes me this simple, well meant “compliment”!
